pastels, inks on A4 canson paper, 2018 © Moontain
A scar is not an injury but a call to Love & Wisdom*
This is another new pastel drawing from a series i started this summer called “MIMESIS” & you can learn a little more about its theme in the previous artworks, but here is the story about this one …
I had a hard time finding its signification, name, identity … it took me quite some time to understand what it was about. Obviously, it’s a person but i failed to recognized him but suddenly i did … at least, this is what i make me believe and this is pretty sure my interpretation is personal. Maybe other people will see a woman, etc …
Blonde hair, blue eye … red (blood?) on the side of the head … I see, this is you, Cobain. Knowing the generation i’m from, Nirvana has been a huge presence throughout my youth (still today). I thought we had a special connection very few would understand and discover (this is the kind of own world we invent when we’re teens). There was no cult of the person at all, if anything, i worship the music, the creations, the fruits & seeds, not the persons.
The color Blue, to me, often refers to the Source (of Universal Knowledge/Link). So the fact you can find some in the eyes, the ear and the throat makes sense here. I can’t say that i really like this artwork, because it feels a little strange and hurt, which became understandable when i realized what it was about. In fact the blood on the side of the head echoes Cobain’s suicide, this is a not so subtle illustration of what happened.
As a teen i was more than ever a “too much” sensitive person and for the most part, it was a huge suffering, because this world is pretty harsh, there is not a lot of safe space for romantic/fragile/sensitive boys … it took years to learn how to transform it into something not dangerous for my own mental/physical state. During this time, like a lot of people at this age, some artists were literally Friends / Alter ego / Partners … Nirvana’s music was one of them and so, Cobain, it felt like we were going through the same turmoil.
So it was natural then to name it after a song of this precious band. This is why i chose “Sappy” … First, this is maybe one of the best, if not the best, song of Nirvana … and as a french youngster barely speaking english, at an age without the internet, i made me believe this word meanest something like Sad + Happy … and it really made sense to me ! I could identify to it. Since then, of course, i learned its meaning and it fits very well too. I always was “too much in love, too much into feelings, too much this or that” It was all over anything i said, felt, did (just like this drawing feels like metaphoric sap spread onto the paper in a frenetic way) … to the point of being a threat to myself, to consume my own being (it was not smart or wise, so many years learning through the hard path till you finally get it) …
We all go through learning experiences like that, sometimes we learn how to treat ourself good after we did hurt to ourself … this is basic. But blessed are the ones who don’t need this process anymore to continue to learn and evolve. Our scars are not injuries but loving reminders of a not so distant self watching on us, so we don’t repeat the same lessons / experiences over and over, because the exciting side of Life is to use the past experiences to discover new ones & re-create the One we are, at the same time *
I hope you will still find something to appreciate in this artwork and maybe it will remind you so personal stories too